I’m sure many of you may be like me whether you choose to admit it or not, one of your heart felt desires in life has always been to be a wife? In fact, at one point in my life the notion of Marriage had become an idol to me 😮 and as with anyone who has travelled the road of dishonouring God’s throne I reaped the fruit of my ill respect. Thankfully in God’s mercy, he snatched me and I began to give my heart to Jesus. He revealed my wrong and I started the journey of turning again to Him as my Lord and destroying all other gods. I could finally say then, I knew that he was Lord and that HE should be my God ALONE. My ultimate goal in life is not to be a wife but to glorify God in every aspect of life and share him with the World. All other desires are worthless if the fear of the Lord is non existent, I still hope I can do this one day in marriage 🙂
Flash forward to now I am not yet married but I wanted to start a series on cultivating wifely attributes for the not yet married ladies like myself. Have you ever felt disheartened at the wait? Did you ever think that when I get married it will be the magical cure for some of your traits? I’ll save more, pray more, I’ll take care of a home more, I’ll cook etc. Nope, you’re just going to be more of what you already ARE!!! It’ll magnify #SOCKandHORROR #WAKEupCALL I had a moment as I was speaking with someone when I realised how silly my thinking was on this concept. My future husband, while I imagine he will cultivate me in many ways, would benefit much if I take the initiative now and develop what I call wife-able attributes even before arriving at wifehood lol. As such, I embarked on this journey to be a woman of biblical character firstly to be pleasing to God and then if God willed in becoming a good wife. Stick with me as I comb through the bible and other reliable sources (like actual married women with thriving marriages) for things we can develop right now, in our single lives and even when that time comes and we do wed. I’m not a subject matter expert on singleness or marriage but I am learning and as I do I can’t help but share.
Become a virtuous woman. Virtuous:Having or showing high moral standards. (Oxford dictionary)
STEP 1: BECOME /CULTIVATE BEING A VIRTUOUS WOMAN
The same verse in another version says:
Proverbs 12:4Amplified Bible, Classic Edition (AMPC)4 A virtuous and worthy wife [earnest and strong in character] is a crowning joy to her husband, but she who makes him ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.
|An excellent||חַ֭יִל||cha·yil||2428||strength, efficiency, wealth, army|
A virtuous /excellent (Chayil:khah’-yil) woman in its original Hebrew meant a force, whether of men or other means or other resources; an army, wealth, virtue, valour, strength. This gives me the understanding that when I am a wife I would be a force in my husband’s life either bringing him joy or distress. I can either be an army of support for him, or I can tear him down. Without a husband, as a woman, I was created uniquely to glorify God and carry out his purposes through all that he has supplied. I can, therefore, pursue purpose and be a force, a militant member of God’s discipleship this is constant with or without marriage.
To go further the term brings up the following translations in various text (NASB): able, armies, army, army* , capability , capable , elite army , excellence, excellent , forces, full, goods, great, might , mighty , nobly , power , retinue , riches , strength , strong , substance , troops , valiant , valiantly, valor , very powerful , warriors , wealth , wealthy , worthy .
So as I try to be a virtuous wife I look at these words and see how I can develop or seek some of these in my life asking God for the strength. I want to have a wealth of character, a fruitful wife as being refined and tested through Christ’s work in my life and full of the Holy Spirit.
The verse in Proverbs 12:4 describes the excellent wife as “a crown to her husband, But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones“. So in my not yet married life I ask myself “Milly is anything in your life causing shame to maybe your father or mother, boyfriend, family, church, elder or even myself (if I’m being really honest) ?” “As someone who ought to be glorifying GOD am I defacing his name instead? God forbid!
Anything causing you to go back into the bush of Eden and hide from the LORD: acting shamefully, causing anxiety, or shaming others; run away from. As an excellent wife, you have a reputation to uphold: as belonging to Christ. Let it be one of nobility not shame.
Stay tuned each week for more musings.