Wife-able Wednesday: Purity

Selah Session:

Do you want to live a pure life?

Do you struggle with sexual purity?

Do you ever struggle to keep your thoughts or even actions “clean”?


 “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God” (Matthew 5:8). 

James 4:1-3English Standard Version (ESV)Warning Against Worldliness What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions[a] are at war within you?[b] You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.

Some people define a pure substance to be a material that consists of one type of “building block” of matter. The Meriamm-Webster dictionary definition of purity is (1):  unmixed with any other matter pure gold (2):  free from dust, dirt, or taint pure spring water (3):  spotless, stainless:  free from harshness or roughness and being in tune —used of a musical tone. The Greek word for “pure” in Matthew 5:8 is katharos. It means to be “clean, blameless, unstained from guilt.”  So are we at the core of our beings unmixed? How can we be clean, blameless, unstained? Not one of us humans can be without the pure blood of Christ. Are we tainted by worldly passions or are we in tune with God’s heart? Is the building block of our desires Christ or something else entirely?

Outward Purity begins with an internal spiritual purity resulting from a genuine relationship and faithful pursuit of Christ.

Sometimes we try to keep up appearances in our lives. We put on grand shows as illusionists and false rapporteurs.  We play an intense game of pretense that needs to stop. It’s easy to feel as though you’re alone or others are doing so much better than you in terms of living out a romance novel or their own fantasy life. On top of all that they sometimes seem to have no struggles. I have come to realize that we can’t make standards for ourselves based on what we see around us; they must be based on something more! Stay strong honey and wait patiently for the LORD! Wait confidently for him! Do not fret over the apparent success of a sinner, a man who carries out wicked schemes!  (Psalm 37:7) 

Sometimes we speak too little on touchy topics and the world speaks too much. Who will you listen to if you won’t listen to God?

Taboo topics and Purity

The majority of youth who develop problems with pornography are males, BUT a growing number of teenage girls are discovering their own dependence upon pornography (and in some cases online chat rooms), or are turning to it as a model for their own sexual development and activities. According to Carnes, Delmonico, and Griffin (2001), of the population that has developed severe problems with sex on the Internet, 40% are female. That’s right females are victims of porn as well. Check out this infographic for more details Pornography Infographic-20141 and please let’s stop categorizing and measuring up sins based on who we think will get it.  Sin is Sin. Applying our human judgment to matters which require the one and only righteous Judge who does not practice partiality. Sin is pervasive! The sooner we realize the better. It is clear that the world has many negative influencers set as traps for all of us. Before the age of 18, most of us have been exposed to some form of impure, pornographic or otherwise inappropriate material. I would be foolish to think that certain sources like women’s magazines with sex advice, unrated movies or porn etc would not affect me if I indulge them. If I allow these things into my life I am setting myself up for failure.  If we are not guarded and know what God says and cling to it these outside sources can begin to inform our beliefs. It’s easy to get caught up in the vices of lust and the eyes and the ears are like windows to your soul. Guard them carefully. If you have ever failed to be pure in your life and carry around the guilt and shame because of it I want you to be encouraged today in knowing that there is a way out, you are not alone in your struggle. It may not be quick or easy but in Christ,  there is a way, we are empowered to live rightly. Please remove your cloak of sin and shame Christ died once and for all our sin. Will we overlook Christ’s Cross and keep in sin? Or will we run to him and flee from it? It’s time to pursue a bigger passion. A pure and holy passion. Christ! Confess your sin one to another, find a find, maybe an older trusted lady in church who can listen without judgment and walk with you and provide accountability.  

Who will you wait for? God has a plan for your BEST! Which will include the exact things you need and so much more! In the secrecy of our thoughts, we hold the reality of our focus and the deep desires which we have. Always at war within us are our sensual passions which cause all sorts of strife. Are we allowing them to be constructed and devised by the wickedness of our intentions or by the holiness of God who wants for us to be as he is: HOLY. (1 Peter 1:16 ) Wait, wait but you may think “I’m not hurting anyone”, how can this be wicked? After all that Christ has done for us it is wicked to only think of self.

We are all human beings and therefore all experience desires and thoughts, having a sexual desire is not in itself wickedness but if I am constantly thinking about using this passion in a way that God has not ordained then I do so to my own demise. This is scary because the more we reject God is the harder our hearts become and the more truth we reject is the sooner we will be given over to a reprobate mind. (Romans 1:21-25 )If something beautifully created by God is misused it becomes something that no longer brings glory and honour to Him, it has now become despicable sin! As those who have come to believe in the Father and the Son, they are now ONE in spirit with him. (1 Corinthians 6:17-19 )To be one means we should be unmixed we are a temple of the Holy Spirit within us and sexual sin is against His temple, against the body which is not ours to control.

We are not set apart because of our past. We have hope and a future. In Christ we have been set apart for a Holy Purpose, not a Selfish Purpose. 

So if we want to please God we must desire to be pure in our lives in all things. From now until marriage and even after that: till death, We must stay PURE. My God doesn’t want my temple to be one that allows sinful sex or imagery, or thoughts on screen for evenings and rainy days but worship as usual on a Sunday, He wants all of the Temple in every moment to be sanctified for worship and I think your future husband would agree.  Even if we never marry it is still God’s temple holy unto Him and kept his way.

You can’t white knuckle Purity, it is a matter of  the heart

It’s important to know yourself and your vulnerability periods but more than that to know Christ and who you are in him. Let the fire in your loins be quenched by the refiner’s fire. Malachi 3:2 speaks of Christ as a refiner’s fire. A refiner’s fire is used to remove impurities from Gold. The fire purifies as it burns off impurities not belonging to the element. We like Gold need to be refined by the work of Christ! He’s done it for us!

After Christ’s work of refinement in us his reflection should be seen clearly in our substance.

Submission to Christ’s Lordship is what makes the daily difference. Spending allocated time with him and laying down your desires at the foot of his cross daily. Resist the devil daily and he will flee. We are destroying sophisticated arguments and every exalted and proud thing that sets itself up against the [true] knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought and purpose captive to the obedience of Christ. (Corinthians 10:5 (AMP))

We can fight temptation by the power of Christ in us not by our own will power. 

2 Peter 1:4-8 (NLT) And because of his glory and excellence, he has given us great and precious promises. These are the promises that enable you to share his divine nature and escape the world’s corruption caused by human desires. This same passage encourages us to supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and knowledge, self-control, with patient endurance, godliness, with brotherly affection, and love for everyone. So it’s not just a matter of faith and then stagnation. It’s about healthy growth and when we press forward like this the word assures us we will be more productive and more useful and increase in our Knowledge of Christ Jesus. Those who fail to develop in this way are shortsighted or blind, forgetting that they have been cleansed from their old sins. So step back and ask yourself is a particular activity going to help you along this path?  

Christ is the only way we can truly be pure in heart by giving our lives to Jesus and asking Him to do the cleansing work. Psalm 51:10 says, “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” God is the one who makes our hearts pure – by the sacrifice of His Son and through His sanctifying work in our lives (see also 1 John 3:1-3). It may not happen in an instant but as we must submit ourselves daily to him we are continually transformed.

I do not think I am an authority on any topic, I am merely one who is ready and willing to give an account for the hope I have found in Christ while going through a very sick world. I can point you to the one who  I believe is the authority above. Before I go, I want you to know that having a sexual desire is not a sin, it’s what you choose to do with it that makes a difference. Who will you choose to glorify?

MMM (3)


3 thoughts on “Wife-able Wednesday: Purity

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