Milly’s Attachment Theory

To what have you become attached?

Clinging with white knuckles to them, Milly was afraid to let it go! How does she know that if she were to release it, something more would return? She had become so “attached” again to this. She battled with the thought of it and would many times succeed to suppress, but it was so easily consuming her. What could she do for it? To it, with it, how did it make her look, and what was the feeling she got from achieving it? Whatever it was!

She had a tendency to get attached to people or to how things were, or to the way: the means and methods of life, the feels. She would allow this consumption to overtake her to the point where it was mostly all about the well-being of the object of her attentions: the Idol she worshipped. It did not matter what she received from it in return (good or bad), all that mattered was that she was keeping it going, and had a sense of a job well done. She felt that if she was present: she could save, if she served: she would be loved, if she cared: it’ll be worthwhile: in the end. Give, give, giveeeeeee …feed the addiction, Attachment: I need you!!

She understood that not only was her view of others incorrect but her view of self was screwed up. What is beautiful? Is it that outward adorning with make-up and fine jewellery? Is beauty=Hotness? Is beauty= being sexy/ provocative? Is beauty what attracts you to me :maybe initially? But what really is attractive, in a lasting sense? Is it not the essence of Milly?  Are we shallow?

In the past without the attachment I didn’t know who I was, it is how I had begun to define myself, and somewhere in my mind I only saw myself as the benevolent carer, a helper of X, the co-dependent, the oh so supportive, the under-appreciated, the trophy, the sign of hope.

Oh, how wrong was Milly! Only Jesus saves…

I didn’t get very far with this outlook and many life events would show me the error of my ways and my pride. Misused and hurt: deeply scarred, I barely picked myself up from the makeshift altars I had created to serve at the throne of my heart: the IMPOSTERS!!!!  ENOUGH!!!

As I watched the strands of hair drop chunk by chunk to the floor of the salon, I was reminded of the day in Tobago when the truth gripped me in an earth shattering way and my life was changed forever!! In 2015 at an IGNITE retreat I finally understood the words “There is power in the name of Jesus to break every chain” as those lovely women prayed for me the spirit of the old person that I was chained to fell and died there. I was saved, I was justified and the Alter of my heart was built up to now serve passionately the one true GOD. I was still meek Milly: Oh but my spirit was not the same!!! He picked me up and with his Holy Spirit now within me, has been walking with me ever since sanctifying : guiding me in the ways, the thoughts and the deeds that are pleasing to him. Even aspects of my personality were improved as faith is “The leaning of your entire human personality on Him [God] in absolute trust and confidence in His power, wisdom and goodness.”AMP

Snip Snip more hair falls he knows what areas of my life should remain and what should depart. What have you allowed to unhealthily imprint on your life: to what have you become attached ? Yours may be different to Milly it could be work, money, misguided identity, a relationship with family members or significant other, acceptance , your own self-governance,  health, ambition, a diagnosis , a failure , entertainment, a success, you name it. Surrender your attachment to the author and finisher of your fate because what results is more than you could imagine.

I trust him with my strands for he knew them before I was born 🙂 Indeed the very hairs of my head are numbered Mathew 10:30  (even though there maybe less of it now lol) hope my new hair grows quickly but I will enjoy the journey!!! 

“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you [and approved of you as My chosen instrument], And before you were born I consecrated you [to Myself as My own];
I have appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5